Memories Prison
by OneRiddleMore
Summary: Set during the Avengers. Just before Natasha talked to him Loki was pacing in his SHEILD prison. Here is an interpretation of what, or rather who, he was thinking of. Then later of his return to Asgard Loki/Sif one sided very minor spoilers for Avengers
1. Chapter 1

**Please watch Avengers and Thor before reading this.**

**This story is basically my imagination of what I believe Loki was thinking about before Natasha started talking to him. It was written as stress relief from revision so I'm not really sure if it's any good or not. **

**Plain text is present, italics is memories.**

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Loki stood, alone in his prison. Admittedly it had been made for someone else but he was the current threat. Still the plan had been to lure them into a false sense of security, he still wasn't entirely sure if that had worked. He sighed as he walked back and forth across the prisons floor waiting for someone to come and attempt to question him. The only person he feared coming was Thor, not because he was scared of the God but because his lies and tricks would not work on him. They knew each other too well. That was the problem. Loki also knew when Thor was lying, and he had not been when he said those cursed words. "We all did". Those three words would not leave his brain. Why couldn't Thor have been clearer, every one of his "family" or everyone on Asgard? He prayed it was the former, he didn't want them to mourn. He didn't want anything off any of them, especially her. Where were those damned mortals with their questions? He needed a distraction before the memories came. But still no one came and his mind became a victim of the memories.

_Loki was walking through the halls of the Asgardian palace. He was heading slowly towards the room in which he knew that his brother and his friends would be. The light was beginning to die outside and now was the time when the two Asgardian princes and friends would meet to relax, to laugh, to just be themselves before appearing before the people as the princes, warriors and the lady that they were excepted to be. Of course Loki just referred to the warriors and the lady as friends because it was the easiest way to describe his relationship with them. He knew they hated him, or so he believed._

_"Loki" a call came from behind him. He paused, it was ether his mother or Lady Sif, no other woman would have the nerve to not use his full title but those two. Sure enough when he turned it was Lady Sif._

_"Lady Sif" he said calmly with a slight bow of his head._

_"Must you always be so formal? I have received good news, after the incident with the Bilgesnipe you father has agreed to allow me to join accompany you and the others on journeys to the other realms" Sif said, an excited grin covering her face._

_"Congratulations, you deserve it" Loki said, and he meant it. He didn't admire many people but Sif was one of them. He'd seen her fight, she was one of the bravest people he knew, and he knew a lot of people._

_"Wow, that was more than the usual two syllables" Sif teased before gently hugging the prince. He froze at the action, not because he was angry at her but because he had always assumed that she had hated him. "I'm sorry" she said as she pulled away, realising what she had done._

_"I thought you hated me" Loki confessed, he said it quietly, his emerald eyes veiled from her._

_"You thought that? Loki you are as much of a friend to me as Thor and the others are." His eyes instantly meet hers and a small smile flittered onto his lips._

_"Have you told the others?" he asked, moving the subject away from his emotions._

_"No, are you coming?"_

_"Yes of course."_

_"Any advice for these journeys?" she asked, her smile radiating from her._

_"Do exactly what Thor says unless I think he is wrong" Loki replied, she laughed before pushing open the doors into the meeting room._

Loki dug his nails so deeply into the palms of his hands that he almost drew blood. It was enough to block out the memory of her. Why, why did she have to look at him with kindness? If he could just block her out. He looked at the camera, daring them to come and talk to him. Surely they had questions for him so why did they not come? Anything they put him through would be better than the torture his mind was imposing on him.

_"Thor what are you doing?" Loki asked again. His brother was obviously planning something, he just didn't know what._

_"It is nothing you need to worry about brother" Thor replied, picking up his prized hammer._

_"You could tell me now, or I could follow you and bother you until I find out" Loki said, leaning against the pillar. Thor chuckled._

_"You are persistent, I was merely going to go through the gates and see what one of the other realms looks like" Thor replied, as if it was the most natural thing in the world rather than something that was basically forbidden. Loki did the only thing that felt right and slapped his brother. "What was that for?"_

_"I was afraid you were hysterical" Loki replied calmly._

_"I am not, I am utterly serious. Are you coming with me?" Thor asked._

_"Going where?" Hogun asked from the doorway. As always the others were with him._

_"My friends! I am planning to take a small trip through the gates, and Loki is merely worried" Thor explained._

_"Loki, that didn't make you sound like a girl at all" Fandral teased._

_"It's what's on the other side that worries me" Loki explained, rubbing his temples from the headache he could feel coming._

_"What's on the other side?" Sif asked, her hand instinctively reaching for her weapon._  
_"I don't know", that's why it worries me. He wants to just go through the gates and see another realm" At this point Sif clipped the thunder God's ear, even she had not thought that he could be such an idiot._

_"What is with everyone hurting me today?" Thor asked, rubbing his now throbbing ear._

_"You are being a fool" Hogun said simply. Thor sighed in annoyance before sitting on the step._

_"Are you feeling well friend? It is not like you to give up so easily" Volstagg asked, by now he and the others had all found a comfortable position in the room._

_"Against Loki and Hogun? I have no chance, the former will just argue me into submission and the latter will ignore me" Thor explained, however he sounded light hearted and they knew he wasn't angry. Bored perhaps. Before long the conversation went to their latest battle. Loki had returned to leaning against the pillar, Sif stood the other side._

_"You seem worried" she whispered to him._

_"Bad dreams, it means nothing" he replied, glad that the others couldn't hear._

_"I hope that's all it is" she said, her hand gently touched his arm before she moved down to sit by Thor. Loki couldn't explain the pang he felt in his heart, he shouldn't have been surprised by her actions. In the end she would always go to Thor._

It was then this Loki wished he was not being watched by the SHEILD agents. He wanted nothing more to slam his fist into the hard glass in order to numb the pain in his heart. Sif was his enemy. She had been all his life. The kindness she had pretended to show him had been that, nothing more than make believe. Pity because he was Thor's younger brother. He loathed her for it, for everything she had ever done.

Suddenly he stopped pacing, a small smile brushed his lips. At last one of his captors had arrived.

"Not many people can sneak up on me" he commented as he turned. She had been one. The red haired woman stood there. She looked angry at him, of course the bow man. What had he called her? Natasha? Natasha Romanov? Yes, now he remembered.

"But you figured I'd come" Natasha replied, her gaze was icy.

"After all the torments Fury can concoct you would appear as a friend, and I would cooperate" Loki smiled to himself, mortals were predictable.

"I want to know what you've done with Agent Barton"

"I'd say I've expanded his mind" he tormented, this was hurting her but he didn't care. For at that moment there was something about her that reminded him of Sif.

"And once you've won, once you're King of the mountain, what happens to his mind?"

"Is this love, Agent Romanov?" He asked with a slight sneer.

"Love is for children, I owe him a debt" Natasha replied.

"Tell me" he replied as he sat on the seat in the prison. He didn't ask because he wanted to know. Barton had already told him. He asked so that he could his thoughts. He hadn't asked her about love, he had asked himself. He may have despised Sif but was it a defensive, a defensive for what he truly felt? No, he could not love her. Not after their last meeting.

_The shock had been apparent as soon as she realised that it was him, and not Odin that sat on the throne. That was to be expected, the others were shocked too. They had each knelt without orders. Yet they asked for Thor's return. Did they not realise that he was attempting to wipe out a threat and Thor's return would merely prevent that. He cared for his "brother" but nothing would stop him from getting what he wanted. To be an equal. She had stood at his words, anger covering her face. He didn't know what she would have done if Hogun and Fandral had not grabbed her arms. He dismissed them, not wanting to look at them, no her, anymore. The warriors four walked off but Sif paused and held his gaze. That's what struck him to the core. He wanted her to look at him with hatred. To make her finally reveal her lies and prove that she hated him. Instead her eyes showed betrayal. He'd betrayed her, betrayed her trust. She turned and followed her friends. They would go after Thor, to bring him back. He didn't care, it gave him an excuse to kill her and stop the emotions she made him feel. To stop her witchcraft._

Loki tuned back into the end of what Natasha was saying. They wanted him to be a monster, he could see it in their eyes. They didn't want to understand him, they just wanted an enemy. Fine, he would release his monster. His emotions when he learnt of his father's betrayal would smother all others and he would finally forget about that Asgardian witch.

Love? How could he love a witch?

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**Thanks for reading, please leave a review.**

**There may or may not be a part two of his return to Asgard after the film ends.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Word of warning for slight spoliers for end of the Avengers, though if you know anything about Thor 2 it's obvious things.  
This kind of went a bit weird.  
I own nothing**

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Loki wished that looks could kill because if they could then the "Avengers" would now all be lying dead on the floor. Of course looks didn't kill which is why he now stood bound and gagged, waiting to be forced back to Asgard and Odin's wrath. This was what he had dreaded. Them, the Asgardians.

Thor held out the tessaract. Loki glared at him before taking the other end. He could feel the teleportation happening and the return to Asgard.

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Sif and the warriors three were sitting beside the fire. Each of them were lost in their own thoughts, mostly of worry for Thor. They knew he was on Earth and they had each seen images of who he had been with. However they knew not of Loki, nor of the truth. Thor and Odin had decided that no one needed to know so that Loki could one day return to Asgard.

"Thor is outside, he has collapsed on the bridges remains" a guard said as he ran into the room. Without hesitation the four friends jumped up and ran down to the bridge. Sure enough Thor lay on the bridge with a mysterious object in his hand. Loki stood beside him, gagged and shackled. The warriors three instantly ran to Thor whilst Sif went to Loki. It didn't take much for her to pull of the metal gag.

"Loki what happened? We thought you were dead! Is your brother alright?" she asked, the words pouring out of her mouth like lava. She didn't see the flash of emotion in Loki's eyes as he remembered that she would always go to Thor.

"He is not my brother, and of course he is not alright, he is lying unconscious on the bridge" Loki replied, a sneer flitting across his lips. Sif furred her brow, what was talking about?

"We need to get him inside" Volgstagg said, looking up. Sif nodded and gently took Loki's arm to lead him inside. She felt him tense at the touch but he did not fight her off, or refuse to follow her. He seemed different but she couldn't work out why. The warriors three already had Thor at the end of the bridge and he appeared to be waking up. Loki walked with her but was obviously pulling back a little. She didn't understand his reluctance, or why his hands had been cuffed.

They were nearing Odin. Loki could tell because he could hear Thor slightly slurred voice beginning to explain what had happened on Midgard. Sif lead him into the room which went silent at their entry.

"Loki!" Frigga gasped and ran to embrace her adopted son. Odin did not move. Loki already knew that he would not have moved, even if his hands were not cuffed together.

"Will you not address your mother?" Odin asked after a moment of silence.

"We all know that she is not my mother" Loki replied, his voice was steady and full of hate. The warriors three exchanged a look, they were defiantly being kept in the dark about something.

"Not by birth however we raised you as our own, we mourned for you as our own and we rejoice at your return as your family" Odin said calmly. Loki did not reply but instead returned to staring daggers at those in the room. The only person he didn't look at was Sif. All of a sudden his head felt heavy and his vision clouded over. He was vaguely away of both Sif and Frigga trying to hold him upright but he slipped into blackness.

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Loki had no idea how long he had been in the circular room. There was nothing in the room but a bed, a window and a door. None of these things would help him escape. The window was not big enough to get through and even if it was, it was so high up that he couldn't see the ground. The door was also a no go as there was a small army outside in case he tried anything. Normally he wouldn't have thought twice about fighting but then what? Asgard was truly his prison, and this room was merely where he waited his punishment.

He didn't know what the time was when the door opened, in truth he was so lost in thought he almost didn't notice it. He waited for some nervous serving girl to try and get him to eat but nothing happened. He glanced up out of the corner of his eye to see who it was who stood there, judging him, and to his horror saw her. Sif. She had obviously been at some formal event as her hair floated loosely around her neck rather than in her usual ponytail. She was wearing a dark cloak but he could imagine that underneath it she wore her usual armour. He had been up here a while and his thoughts had often drifted to her, not that he would ever let her know that.

"Do you have something to say?" He eventually asked, the silence having lasted for what had felt like an eternity, and as they were both Gods that was saying something.

"I-" Sif started but the words died on her lips, something was wrong but she couldn't work out what it was.

"Have been standing at that door for quite some time." Loki said as he turned to look at her full on.

"You were watching me?" she asked, the horror in her voice not escaping his notice.

"It was entertaining, watching you squirm as you watched the monster" Loki hissed.

"I see no monster in here. Only a friend who has taken the wrong path" Sif said calmly. Her attitude was infuriating to Loki. He wanted nothing more than to wrap his hands around her neck but she was being careful to stay exactly opposite him.

"Then why are you here?" he asked.

"They told me you were not eating, no one wants to see you die" Sif explained.

"I could not be more dead if I painted myself fluorescent yellow, danced in middle of Asgard, waved my arms at the guards with a sign that says SHOOT ME! Loki said turning from her.

"No, Thor will not allow anything to happen to you... she started.

"Not allow? If Odin wants me dead then it could happen in an instant" Loki snapped, refusing to turn and look at her.

"Odin does not want you dead. He did want to punish you but people spoke for you." Sif was beginning to feel nervous. Thor had warned her against visiting Loki because he had changed but this much?

"People spoke for me? Now you are just lying." he said, starting to sound not calmer but emotionless which was worse.

"No, your brother did the warriors three did and... and I did" she replied. She wanted to go over to him, to shake some sense into him, but she stayed where she was.

"Why are you here Sif? If it is not to watch the monster. Did you come to mock me?" he asked, the bitterness in his voice almost visible.

"Have I ever mocked you? I came to find out why you would not eat".

"I do not eat because I would rather die of starvation then suffer whatever punishment they concoct" Sif wasn't sure but she couldn't help but believe that there was a hint of despair in his voice. As if he had no faith left for his survival.

"I can't decide which part of that speech is more extraordinary. The fact you want to starve, or that you honestly believe they want to harm you" Sif replied, in honesty she just wanted a response from him. Anything to prove that he was still there.

"Believe? I know! I can see it in their eyes!" Loki yelled as he turned back to face her. Sif bit her lip to avoid the smirk of satisfaction as he finally showed an emotion.

"I am glad to see you are still you. I was worried your time on Midgard had changed you beyond recognition" Sif confessed. Loki froze, his eyes flicked around the room. He couldn't understand. He couldn't understand why she was being kind to him. Why she hadn't changed her attitude towards him.

"Has my brother put you up to this?" Loki asked, bitterness surrounding the word "brother".

"He does not know I am here" she replied. Loki sniggered at her words.

"Really? Yet you cannot get him out of your mind, is this love?" Loki asked, teasing her on the surface but in truth he was saying it to anger her.

"What? This is nether the time, nor place, to discuss my love life" Sif scolded, her heart had started to beat faster. How it the conversation turned to this?

"That does not answer my question, you do love him though. You always have" Loki replied, a knowing smile on his face.

"I have not come to argue about this with you. I came to try and talk sense into you yet you seem to have changed too much" Sif yelled and turned to leave. That was all he needed. With her back to him he moved up behind her. He quickly slipped his arms under her cloak and onto her bare arms. She trembled at his touch but did not pull away. He moved close enough so that he could whisper into her ear, close enough that the hairs on the back of her neck rose.

"I have not changed merely the circumstances, my understanding of everything. But I should be grateful; it has allowed me to become free from trying to be one of them" he whispered into her ear. His hands were beginning to move up her arms, towards their target.

"They are still your family, for they raised you and loved you as their son" Sif said, trying to keep her voice sounding calm.

"They were never my family, but that is not a matter for us to discus. This is, why did you lie?" he asked, his hands were now at the base of her shoulders.

"Lie? about what?"

"Hating me"

"What? Loki I never hated you" Sif said, suddenly realising what he was going to do, but not having the strength to move.

"Stop lying!" he yelled this. His hands had now reached their destination. Her throat. Without thinking his grip tightened. She tried to fight for breath but before long she fell back into his arms, her eyes closed.

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**Um yeah, was going to be a whole chapter but it got a little long. Please R&R**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hi all. Wrote this whilst watching the Eurovision, we came second to last. Yay? So as exams start next week this is the last chapter.**

**As always I own nothing**

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Loki leant back against the cold wall. Once again he was alone. Sifs body had been taken out a while back and he was alone. He was running through what had happened in his head. Her lies had got to him. He wanted to shut her up. He just wanted people to stop lying to him. He couldn't stop Odin but he wasn't stupid enough to be alone in a room with Loki. It was her fault. She had angered him. But she hadn't changed. She was still being kind to him when others weren't.

His legs gave way and he fell slowly down against the wall. Memories flashed in his mind, Sif falling, her body not moving, the guards taking her away. No one would tell him what happened next but he knew. She had died, he had murdered her. This didn't feel like the other times he had killed. This time it wouldn't leave his mind. He had let go of her throat when her body had fallen into his arms. It looked as if she was sleeping. He had let her body fall to the floor in panic as he moved away. She didn't move. After a moment he had called for the guards and they had carried her out. Unmoving. No. He closed his eyes, trying to block the memory. Instead another came to him, a worse one.

_Loki wasn't sure what had happened but at some point he had passed out. It wasn't surprising really. His mouth was now sown shut and he was drifting in and out of consciences due to the blood loss. It had happened when he was conscious and the pain was still excruciating. Something had gone very wrong, perhaps a further trick. He was now awake though, the last few days gave him weird memoires of gaining and losing consciousness and what he assumed where hallucinations. He was lying in a cool room with a damp towel on his head. Someone had obviously been taking care of him, most likely Frigga or his brother. As if on cue Thor walked into the room._

_"Brother, you are awake at last!" he said, Loki glared at him as he was unable to actually say anything. Thor looked down before carrying on talking, "It transpired that the needle was infected. You were suffering from a fever. It was Sif who looked after you."_

Those were the words that now burned him. She had been the one to calm his temperature, to clean off the blood, to work out how he would be able to eat and drink, and how had he repaid her? By killing her. It had become too much and he let out a loud screech which seemed to echo around Asgard.

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The Avengers, bar Thor, had all ended up in Stark Tower at the same time. It was a general coincidence. Bruce had been there as he had been doing some work when Steve had arrived. Apparently Fury wanted the two of them to discuss the serum they both had, though he hadn't given a reason why. Tony was of course there as it was his building. Natasha and Clint had come to talk to him about how much he knew of the tesseract. All of them had been avoiding talking of what they had done together. It was an unspoken rule between them. However rules are meant to be broken and that one was when Clint suddenly froze.

"Barton? Barton?" Natasha asked, worry flashing in his eyes.

"Sit him down" Steve said from the other side of the room. Natasha moved him to the sofa and Bruce got him a glass of water. After a second Clint shook his head, whatever had gotten to him now gone.

"Barton?" Natasha asked, concern in her voice.

"I'm fine. It's just... I think I just heard Loki screech in pain" Clint replied.

"Err, small problem with that he's on Asgard and we're on Earth" Tony pointed out.

"But Loki did take over his brain for a while. It could be the remaining connection" Bruce pointed out.

"Well that means he's being punished for what he did. I say he deserves it" Steve commented.

"I'm the first person to agree with that, but it sounded devastating. Anyone else I would have pitied them" Clint said.

"But it isn't. It's the man who took over you and tried to control Earth. He deserves everything he gets" Natasha replied. The small group looked at each other, they had finally brought up the conversation they had all been dreading.

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In her chambers Sif turned round with a start at the sound of Loki's screech. If he had held on for a little longer she would be dead, but he hadn't and instead he had just temporarily cut off her air supply. Though there was no lasting damage there were four blue bruises on the front of her neck, and two on the back. Her head was also throbbing from when she had fallen.

Thor had warned her that Loki had changed, but she hadn't expected that. That he hated her so much he would try to kill her. He had kept going on about her lying. She had never lied to him. Except for one thing. It wasn't fear that had made her shake when he touched her, but desire. But it was all too late now. She closed her eyes and let the air fill her lungs and closed her eyes. Her secret would remain and she would carry on as she always had and always would. Unaware that he believed her dead.

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**That's all folks. Please R&R**


	4. Chapter 4

**Um hi! So originally that was going to be it, but my arm was twisted. Should warn you that what happens now isn't planned.**

**Warning: mentions of implied rape in this chapter, though may be memories (trying to keep some mystery here)**

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Loki paced back and forth across his prison cell. No one had been to his cell since Sif except the occasional serving girl. They were always too terrified to give any information and so he knew nothing of what was going on. He just wanted the punishment to come; he no longer cared what they did to him. It wouldn't come tonight though. Sounds of a feast of some sort reached him and anger started to curse through his veins. Sif hadn't even been dead a week and they were throwing a feast. However it also gave him an idea. He twisted his hand and an almost perfect clone appeared. Loki smiled to himself; the duplicate would know what to do. He whispered a spell and was emerged in smoke. When it cleared the duplicate was alone in the cell.

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The smoke re-emerged in Sif's chambers. In Asgard it was traditional for the dead to be laid in their beds for a week so that they could be mourned. Loki had emerged on the other side of the room to the bed. The amount of magic he had used had needed a source from somewhere. Odin had lessened his power and the source had been from his skin. His usual pale colour had been replaced by his true ice blue colour. He paused and waited for it to turn back to normal. It was another painful reminder of what he truly was.

Eventually he changed back to normal and he walked slowly over to the bed. Sure enough she had been laid there, a candle burning beside the bed. Why had no one been keeping a vigil over her body? She looked as beautiful in death as she ever had in life. The only difference was the blue bruises on her neck, the bruises he had caused. Her dark hair had been placed over on her shoulders and a golden clip with emeralds had been put in place to hold it. Loki leant over her to touch her hair, his work, when he froze. He could feel something against his hand, her breath. He pulled his hand back and stared at her body. Sure enough her chest was rising and falling. In shock he stumbled backwards, making more noise than he intended. It was enough to wake her and she sat up, pulling the clip out to reveal that it was actually a dagger.

"Loki?" she asked, she didn't lower the dagger though.

"You-you are alive?" he stuttered, she raised an eyebrow.

"No thanks to you. Why are you here?" she asked, lowering the dagger but keeping a firm grip on it.

"I wanted to see you one last time. We were friends" he replied, his voice calm and level.

"When have you ever believed that?" there was something in her voice he had never heard before, fear. The one thing he had still retained after everything he had done was her trust and now it was gone. What did he have left to lose?

"After I lost you. Please do not fear me, I mean you no harm. You chose not to go to the feast?" he was still standing in the shadows and she couldn't tell how sincere he was being.

"No, I did not feel in the mood and these bruises may cause unwanted questions" she didn't add that it was because her neck was hurting or that she could hide the bruises easily enough.

"You have always been so proud" Loki muttered, a strange smile tugging at his lips. he whispered a spell and the dagger turned to dust in her hands.

"What was that for?" she asked.

"I told you there was no need to fear me, yet that dagger showed that you still did" he answered moving slightly closer to the bed.

"You are the God of lies" she replied simply.

"Clever girl" he commented.

"So what are you going to do to me?" she questioned, trying to hide her fear.

"You cannot hide your fear well, I see it in your eyes" Loki told her as he ran his fingers gently across her cheek. She didn't pull away from him but was distracted. He whispered another quiet spell and she suddenly found her body being pushed back by a torrent of air and metal bands pinning her wrists above her head and against the headboard.

"Loki?" she asked, there was tremor in her voice which hadn't been there before. Loki had turned away. His skin once again ice blue. He didn't want anyone to know of his true birth, there of course was a chance that Odin had confessed everything.

"Ah Sif, have you not yet realised that you have always been mine?" he asked, still he didn't turn.

"I did not realise I was a possession" she replied, still trying to free herself from the metal bands.

"What other man has ever cared for you? You need not worry, after I have finished with you, you will always be mine" Loki said, a twisted smile on his face as he turned to face her.

"Is this a confession of love?" she was testing him, trying to get him to say something she could use to stop him.

"Lust. Soon enough I will be punished, what have I left to lose?" it was a question she couldn't answer. He wouldn't listen to reason. She tried to move as far away from him as she could but her arms were still pinned above her head.

"You do not need to do this. You cannot be punished too severely, we are still speaking for you" she had resolved to beg and she hated herself for it. She had never begged for anything in her life, she fought for what she wanted.

"You only say that because if I touch you then you have no hope of ever marrying, no man would ever take a ruined woman. Nothing you can say will stop me from having my way with you." Loki said as he stroked her face. He enjoyed teasing her, threatening her.

"I have never planned to marry, but why must you torture me in this way?"

"Enjoyment, you have always been so proud" his hand had now travelled down to her throat and he could feel her gulp. The last time his hand had been there she had nearly died, it was no wonder she was scared.

"Loki please" it was a final attempt at begging him to stop. He stroked her throat.

"Do not make me kill the words in you pretty little throat" he hissed. He could see the resolve to fight him die in her eyes. He smiled to himself at the thought of one of Asgard's toughest warriors losing a battle. He almost pitied her but that not stop him from taking what he wanted and ruining her.

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**Um yeah so thanks for reading and please R&R. Next chapter will be more based on Sif but I was trying to keep it to Loki's perspecive. Also if you're wondering why there is no smut it's because if I try to write it then it'll end up being worse then 50 Shades and we'll be sitting around feeling awkward.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Sorry for taking so long. Enjoy!**

**I own nothing, at all.**

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Sif never told anyone about what had happened. She didn't feel the need to. The next morning she had cut her leg to explain the blood and the sheets had been burned. Four months had passed since then. Loki had been locked up in the tower. It was one of the worst punishments you could get; it showed you images of your own nightmares that were so realistic you were never sure if they were real or not. She knew she should hate him for what he'd done but she actually pitied him.

There was a ball that evening. She didn't know what they were celebrating. She had changed into a tight emerald green dress and was looking at her reflection. She couldn't wear it. She could hear someone outside her door and quickly grabbed her shield.

"Sif, can I come in?" It was Fandral, not that it was that surprising as the two were practically siblings.

"Yes of course" she called out. He walked in and looked at her with a smile.

"Wow, you look beautiful. Though you know you cannot take a shield with you?"

"Thank you and I am aware of that, however I will not be going tonight" she replied.

"Why not?"

"I just cannot do it" she didn't notice a tear slip down her cheek. She hated lying to him.

"Sif you..." as he started to speak he moved to touch her arm. The last time she'd been touched without armour on had been by Loki, and so she flinched moving the shield. It was enough.

"Take my word for it" she hadn't realised the shield had slipped.

"Sif, give me the shield" his voice was steady. She froze before handing it over. He put it down before turning back to face her.

"Fandral, I can-" she tried but her emotions overcame her and she broke down. He quickly pulled her into a hug and waited for her to calm down. He was surprised at just how cold she was.

"Who?"

"Please, do not ask me that"

"Ok, who else knows?" He was struggling to keep calm. Sif was like his sister and if someone had hurt her... well they would learn just why Fandral was one of Asgardian's most formidable warriors.

"No one. My armour has hidden it" Sif was calmer though she was still shaking.

"Well you have to go down tonight or people will ask questions. Please tell me what happened"

"Loki used magic to come here. He... well, I can now not get married" Sif said pulling away to look back at the mirror.

"Does he know that you are...?"

"Carrying his child? No, only you know" Fandral nodded and walked over to her wardrobe. For a while his back was turned before he turned round holding a red dress.

"What about this?"

"It is not your colour" she replied with a weak smile.

"For you not me. It will hide the child. Though you must tell Thor and the other two" Fandral said before walking out of the room to let her change. Sif changed quickly, trying not to think of what he had said. She didn't want them to know because then they would look at her differently. She trusted Fandral to know he would stand by her but she wasn't sure the others would.

"Fandral?" she called out, hoping he was still there. Luckily he was and came back.

"Wow, I think you look more beautiful than before" he said with a smile.

"Stop it. If I tell them... will you be there?" she asked, for a moment she sounded like a scared child rather than the warrior she was.

"Of course. But for now we have to go downstairs and pretend that nothing is wrong" Fandral offered her his arm. She took it and offered a fake smile before they left to join the feast.

* * *

"Ok talk because something is going on" Volstagg said suddenly. Everyone in the room turned to look at him.

"Who?" Thor asked. Apart from him and Volstagg the only others in the room were Sif, Fandral and Hogun.

"Fandral, he is being unusually quiet" Hogun said.

"Wow, that was more than the usual two syllables" Fandral teased, trying to look at anyone but Sif.

"Stop changing the subject" Thor said before taking a gulp from his drink. Fandral looked incredibly uncomfortable.

"I am carrying a child" Sif suddenly said. Three pairs of eyes fell onto her.

"Wait, you two?" Volstagg asked.

"No, he found out last night." As she spoke she removed the front of her armour so she was standing in her thin leather tunic. She sighed before flattering it against her stomach, "as you can see I did not get pregnant last night".

"Why did you not tell us?" Thor asked.

"You are the Allfather's son; illegitimate children are practically a sin. I was too scared to tell any of you in case you started looking at me like I was just another stupid woman" Sif confessed.

"You are like our sister, we would never think that" Thor told her, before hugging her.

"Who did this to you?" Hogun asked.

"I-I cannot tell you. He knows nothing of this" Sif replied, glaring at Fandral to make sure he didn't say anything.

"Surely when he sees you he will know though" Volstagg pointed out.

"He will not see me."

"Was it Loki?" Thor asked suddenly. Sif froze.

"Why would you think that?" Fandral asked.

"He would never see her and she is freezing" Thor explained. Sif flinched. Was it so obvious?

"That is impossible. He has been locked up since his return" Volstagg pointed out.

"He used his magic to teleport into my room, it happened after that" Sif explained.

"You let him?" Hogun asked.

"Yes. I have never exactly planned to marry and I am attracted to him. I did not realise this would happen" Sif's voice was calm. She didn't know why she was protecting Loki. Her head felt fuzzy.

"So he did not hurt you?" Thor asked, he couldn't help but feel responsible for Loki's actions.

"No" everything was starting to blur. She moved towards the chair but stumbled. Thor was nearest and grabbed her arm. She started to pull away before losing consciousness.

* * *

**Don't worry, all will be explained!  
Please R&R**


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